Author Topic: Funny comments of the days (Read 611 times)

Daniel Alcatraz · « **on:** December 18, 2011, 08:04:42 PM »

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Kyle Rudolph · « **Reply #1 on:** December 18, 2011, 10:27:10 PM »

I hate you.

Ian William · « **Reply #2 on:** December 19, 2011, 12:19:09 AM »

My friend talking about "italian Jobs" at a Vegas jam;

"I can do those other things but I won't do any of that butt stuff."

Daniel Alcatraz · « **Reply #3 on:** December 19, 2011, 10:52:11 AM »

Quote from: Ian Want on December 19, 2011, 12:19:09 AM

My friend talking about "italian Jobs" at a Vegas jam;

"I can do those other things but I won't do any of that butt stuff."

Heh nice

Quote from: Kyle Rudolph on December 18, 2011, 10:27:10 PM

I hate you.

Well I hate you too *Turns Around and walks off* Such a dick

Daniel Alcatraz · « **Reply #4 on:** December 19, 2011, 10:53:58 AM »

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Fecteau · « **Reply #5 on:** December 19, 2011, 11:31:03 AM »

I find Oreo cookies repulsive, unless I have a glass of milk next to me.

Ryan Anthony Vetter · « **Reply #6 on:** December 19, 2011, 12:00:12 PM »

Watching a political debate is like watching two retards fight, in the end, one wins, but we all suffer for it.

Daniel Alcatraz · « **Reply #7 on:** December 19, 2011, 12:03:57 PM »

Quote from: Ryan Anthony Vetter on December 19, 2011, 12:00:12 PM

Watching a political debate is like watching two retards fight, in the end, one wins, but we all suffer for it.

Hah great

Jarrett · « **Reply #8 on:** December 19, 2011, 02:20:25 PM »

at play rehearsal

Director: make that line a lot more sarcastic
Friend: turn the douschebag up to eleven

Daniel Alcatraz · « **Reply #9 on:** December 22, 2011, 05:54:17 PM »

Can't even take a piss in my own house without closing the door *Facedesk*

Fecteau · « **Reply #10 on:** December 23, 2011, 02:17:07 PM »

Knee surgery suck balls.

Roberto aka Screech · « **Reply #11 on:** December 23, 2011, 09:02:50 PM »

Whoever told you life is short was wrong. It's the longest thing you'll ever do.

Ryan Anthony Vetter · « **Reply #12 on:** December 25, 2011, 09:09:10 PM »

"You realise exorcisms are illegal, I don't want some homo stretching his body over me screaming Satan be gone, that's some pretty f#cked up sex." - My cousin and I talking on Christmas

Ryan Anthony Vetter · « **Reply #13 on:** December 26, 2011, 03:08:13 PM »

"I heard it's supposed to get to negative five degrees below zero by the end of the week." - My best friend

wolf555 · « **Reply #14 on:** December 30, 2011, 06:56:53 AM »

"A wise man learns from the mistakes of others, A smart man learns from his own mistakes, and A monkey learns through repetition."

"Son why are you digging through a dumpster?" "Sir, I'm looking for my Wingman." "...

...Carry on"

"Why do you have a crowbar in your bag?" "In case of emergencies, I keep it next to the grappling hook and lock pick kit. Here hold this." "

Who the crap carries around a grappling hook?"

Jordan Strybos · « **Reply #15 on:** December 30, 2011, 04:08:53 PM »

25 YouTube Comments That Are Actually Funny

Daniel Alcatraz · « **Reply #16 on:** January 01, 2012, 01:00:40 PM »

Jason C. Astor · « **Reply #17 on:** January 10, 2012, 10:49:40 AM »

"Does this smell funny to you?" Proceed to eat with more hotsauce

Belhade · « **Reply #18 on:** January 10, 2012, 07:00:37 PM »

My son grabs my shoulders, yells "LET'S DO THIS!" and proceeds to headbutt me.

He's three.

Ryan Anthony Vetter · « **Reply #19 on:** January 10, 2012, 09:39:41 PM »

"This ain't a f#cking dream kid, so wake the f#ck up!" As my boss said today to the new guy...

I proceeded to reply with a smart-ass comment and said, "Double check your verbs and nouns, see if they match."

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID YOU SHIT."

"Why didn't you say it right?"

"I'm having Dan fire you! You don't disrespect your superior!"

"Well in that case enjoy losing your first job as management, just because you have a degree from MIT doesn't mean shit, I can bark orders and scratch my nuts. Besides, Dan says he hates you."

"WHAT? When did he say that?"

"Just about everyday, in fact he just got done telling me about how nice of a guy I am, and he's going to talk to the board and see if he can't get me to replace you."

"Where is he now?!"

"Porking your mom... but seriously I think he's on his way up to floor four."

Three hours later...

"You lied!"

"Yeah, but you did what I said."

"SO?!"

"I'm definitely more managerial material than you..."

"Damnit I'm going to get you written up for that!"

Dan - "No need, this is reality, get your shit and get out."

Nothing makes me happier than when a pompous shit-head gets fired.

News:

Author Topic: Funny comments of the days (Read 611 times)