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Author Topic: jokes  (Read 4826 times)

Offline Andrew Mumu Trahum

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Re: jokes
« Reply #40 on: February 28, 2011, 07:17:59 PM »
Yo mamma's so easy Micah slept with her
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Re: jokes
« Reply #41 on: February 28, 2011, 07:52:30 PM »
Quote from: Andrew Mumu Trahum on February 28, 2011, 07:17:59 PM
Yo mamma's so easy Micah slept with her
Dayyyyyyyummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....MICAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE SAID MEAN THINGS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!


"I ate a bowl of nails for breakfast."
"I ate a bowl of titanium."
"I ate a bowl of shattered dreams and unhappiness."
"I ate yo mama's cookin!"
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Offline Rocket Man38

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Re: jokes
« Reply #42 on: March 01, 2011, 12:18:51 AM »
Quote from: David C. on February 16, 2011, 09:18:19 PM
so a guy walks into a bar.

it gives him a concusssion


A horse walks into a pub and the bartender ask "why the long face"

the horse has cancer


so a traceur goes to france to train.

he has a good time and even trains with majestic :D


ok, here's my serious, non anti joke:

there was once a little girl that lived with her parents. One day, on her birthday, her uncle is leaving and so the little girl says, "bye uncle robinson, good bye".  As soon as the uncle gets home, he gets a heart attack and dies instantly.

The next day, after hearing the bad news, the parents and the daughter gather at the aunts house to console her. When they are leaving, the little girl says. "bye aunt may, good bye". The aunt instantly dies of a heart attack.

After that, the parents call the cops , who come and investigate. Afterwards, when the cops are leaving, the little girl say, "goodbye officer johnson, goodbye" As you can probably guess, the cop dies instantly of a heart attack.

Now at this point, the parents catch on to the little girls ability and start to get scared. The next morning, the dad is leaving for work. The little girl says "bye daddy, goodbye". The father is now scared, he is marked for death now. Throughout his entire work day, he is stressed at the thought that he could die at any moment. He decides to come home early. As he comes into his driveway, the sees the cops at his house. when asking what happen, the cops say,"the mailman died this morning"


no better humor than the hard humor XD
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Offline Rocket Man38

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Re: jokes
« Reply #43 on: March 01, 2011, 12:33:58 AM »
WARNING: VERY STUPID JOKES (viewer discresion is advised)


how do you feel after that huge trick you just landed
crap (all they did was land)


Officer: or you drunk?
Driver: NO! i'm just very. very wasted


EDIT: Just removed a few religious/political jokes.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 06:38:15 AM by Steve Leifheit »
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wlf

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Re: jokes
« Reply #44 on: March 01, 2011, 08:16:51 AM »
Quote
EDIT: Just removed a few religious/political jokes.
Awwwww  :'(
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Offline Rocket Man38

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Re: jokes
« Reply #45 on: March 02, 2011, 06:11:58 AM »
Quote from: wlf on March 01, 2011, 08:16:51 AM
Awwwww  :'(

just for you

i got one;
Jim, Chuck, and marvin. these guys got into a plane crash on a remote island (not Somolia). they travel the land to find help. they eventually run into a tribe and ask for help and food. the tribesmen take the guys to there chief. (dead) upon arrive, they notice everyone looking at them and a bath is being prepared. Chuck says to the chief "we need food; we've been lost for days out here."

the chief says "well we can't help you, but you will help our village." "how?" Jim says. "you can perform one simple task: you must bring back 10 of ONE fruit

so they head off. marvin comes back with 10 grapes and Jim comes back with 10 bananas. when they present their finds, the chief makes a surpirsing statement. "when you arrived, we were already preparing you deaths. you see, you will help our village with nurishment IF... you can take all 10 fruit and not make a sound." take them where?" jim asks. "in you asses..." a pause fills the air .they start with Marvin; at the 9th grape, he laughs. Jim cries out "WTF wAS THAT!?" "it tickled..." marvin responded. the tribesmen begin to shove the bananas in Jim, but at the 3rd banana he screams out in pain.
so now the two are sitting tied to a tree. "well... at least you almost made it." jim says to marvin. "... how's your ***..." marvin says in a spiteful tone. "hey?" he continues. "wheres Chuck?". suddenly Jim breaks down laughing. "wtf are you laughing at!?" Marvin scowls. Jim replies "i just saw Chuck running back with 10 pineapples!"

there we go. see i gave away half the joke at first but now its fine. enjoy first time readers.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2011, 02:16:38 AM by Rocket Man38 »
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wlf

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Re: jokes
« Reply #46 on: March 02, 2011, 07:45:03 PM »
Quote from: Rocket Man38 on March 02, 2011, 06:11:58 AM
just for you

i got one;
Jim, Chuck, and marvin. these guys got into a plane crash on a remote island (not Somolia). they travel the land to find help. they eventually run into a tribe and ask for help and food. the tribesmen take the guys to there chief. (dead) upon arrive, they notice everyone looking at them and a bath is being prepared. Chuck says to the chief "we need food; we've been lost for days out here."
the chief says "well we can't help you, but you will help our village." "how?" Jim says. "we are preparing to eat you, and you will nurish my people's bellies, unless you can perform one simple task: you must bring back 10 of ONE fruit and allow us to shove them in you ***." then marvin respondes "NO! OH NO!". "i don't think we were built as a stoage unit..." the cheif laughs, "go into the jungle and find your fruits!"

so they head off. marvin comes back with 10 grapes and Jim comes back with 10 bananas. they start with Marvin; at the 9th grape, he laughs. Jim cries out "WTF wAS THAT!?" "it tickled..." marvin responded. the tribesmen begin to shove the bananas in Jim, but at the 3rd banana he screams out in pain.
so now the two are sitting tied to a tree. "well... at least you almost made it." jim says to marvin. "... how your ***..." marvin says in a spiteful tone. "hey?" he continues. "wheres Chuck?". suddenly Jim breaks down laughing. "wtf are you laughing at!?" Marvin scowls. Jim replies "i just saw Chuck running back with 10 pineapples!"


hahahahaha NICE!!!!!!!!!!!
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Offline Rocket Man38

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Re: jokes
« Reply #47 on: March 04, 2011, 02:24:10 AM »
what do you call a person on the street
A PEDESTRIAN!
get it? huh? no- oh ok...
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Offline Ashley McC

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Re: jokes
« Reply #48 on: March 04, 2011, 02:51:59 PM »
Yo mama's so ugly that you have to look at her through a mirror like a basilisk. 

:3
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Offline superdude88

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Re: jokes
« Reply #49 on: March 05, 2011, 08:43:43 PM »
Quote from: Ashley McC on March 04, 2011, 02:51:59 PM
Yo mama's so ugly that you have to look at her through a mirror like a basilisk. 

:3
harry potter
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Offline Ashley McC

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Re: jokes
« Reply #50 on: March 05, 2011, 10:50:49 PM »
Quote from: superdude88 on March 05, 2011, 08:43:43 PM
harry potter

Mhm, it's a HP joke. I'm a HP nerd. Everyone knows that. :P
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Offline superdude88

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Re: jokes
« Reply #51 on: March 06, 2011, 09:39:30 AM »
Quote from: Ashley McC on March 05, 2011, 10:50:49 PM
Mhm, it's a HP joke. I'm a HP nerd. Everyone knows that. :P
yes we all do
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I'm Legend, 13, I'm Superdude

"No matter what you see in life see it as an obstacle see it as it can be over come."
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Quote from: Ian Want on December 30, 2011, 08:46:45 PM
Can't have a rainbow without rain

Offline Rocket Man38

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Re: jokes
« Reply #52 on: March 07, 2011, 07:59:45 PM »
knock knock.
who's there?
opportunity.
opportunity who?
too late for you.
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Offline Ashley McC

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Re: jokes
« Reply #53 on: March 07, 2011, 09:53:18 PM »
Knock knock
Who's there?
You Know
You Know Who?
AVADA KEDAVRA!
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Offline Josh Boggs

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Re: jokes
« Reply #54 on: March 08, 2011, 04:15:57 AM »
One time at band camp..
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Re: jokes
« Reply #55 on: March 08, 2011, 08:17:38 AM »
Quote from: Ashley McC on March 07, 2011, 09:53:18 PM
Knock knock
Who's there?
You Know
You Know Who?
AVADA KEDAVRA!
Da da tish!
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Offline Jared Clark

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Re: jokes
« Reply #56 on: March 08, 2011, 08:31:59 AM »
Quote from: Josh Boggs on March 08, 2011, 04:15:57 AM
One time at band camp..

That was clever.
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Offline Ashley McC

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Re: jokes
« Reply #57 on: March 08, 2011, 12:03:52 PM »
I'm all about the HP jokes at the moment. :P
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Offline superdude88

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Re: jokes
« Reply #58 on: March 09, 2011, 08:47:48 AM »
Quote from: Ashley McC on March 08, 2011, 12:03:52 PM
I'm all about the HP jokes at the moment. :P
i love your new icon
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I'm Legend, 13, I'm Superdude

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Quote from: Ian Want on December 30, 2011, 08:46:45 PM
Can't have a rainbow without rain

Offline Ashley McC

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Re: jokes
« Reply #59 on: March 09, 2011, 12:47:59 PM »
Thanks. :)
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“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand."
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