Topic: Joe's Training to be a Norse god

[Joe Brock]

The Incredible...yet going to get boring...Edible Egg


Box Squats #200x5, #225x3, #250x6
GM #95x5x10
Spud Abs #115x5x20

Starting Carb Cycling Today.  Woot!  I've been on GOMAD for the last 6 months, and I'm getting fat.  Time to dial it in, and decimate the weak.

[Joe Brock]

Better Than Pro-Hormones


Bench Press #135x5, #150x3, #165x5
OHPress #115x5
Dips 5x5@BW
Chin Ups 5x5@BW

I took it easy on the assistance today, primarily because Little Mike threatened to beat me on Friday (Overhead Press ME Day.)  I felt like being pretty well-rested so that I could crush his hopes and dreams and remind him that he's a tiny/baby girl and can never hope to catch up.

I also took up shaving with a straight razor.  I would imagine that doing so increases my T-levels significantly.  It's shaving, but manlier!

[Joe Brock]

Next...I will evolve into a Big Forklift


Deadlifts #285x5, #320x3, #365x12!!!!! (PR!!!!!)
Caber Curls #125x3x8
Weighted Sit-ups. #35x5x10

So excited about stupid deadlifts.  I was shaking like a Parkinson's patient afterwards.  I realized that I grind my teeth when I lift hard, so I may start using a mouth-guard while doing ME work.

[Joe Brock]

Like Soviet Training


OHPress #85x5, #95x5, #105x10, #60x5x10
Dips BWx30
Pull-ups BWx30

Called it a day.  I need to be doing more weighted dips and pull-ups.  I have been working 10+hours a day for the last week, and haven't had a full weekend off in a while.  I didn't take any days off last weekend, so I'm a bit beat down.  Yesterday's "All Out" on DL probably didn't help.

[Joe Brock]

New Conditioning Tool (Literally) for the Dungeon

So, I'm pretty certain that my wife ordered me a Shot-Loadable Thor's Hammer...because she said: "I might have ordered you a shot-loadable Thor's Hammer."

Very sneaky on her part, not giving any clues about a surprise gift of unknown origins, and also she asked, "So, should I just leave the package on the front step so that you can have that moment of victory for lifting it..."  I'm very excited, because a hammer is cool.  Mjollnir is a EPIC conditioning tool, and I like epic stuff. 

I'm going to be leaning further away from the Westside Templates that I've been on recently, and get back to the old North of Vag' stuff.  Being a fat powerlifter is cool if that's what you're into, but I like to figure weight lifted/bodyweight.  It's the Super-Swole Sunday Strongman method of determining who's the strongest, pound for pound.  I'll be back to throwing, running with sleds up hill, sledge training, etc. for the next year probably.  Being a vagina is for...vaginas.  I'm a viking!  Being a viking is what training should be about.

Ask yourself today, "Does my current training help me prevent potential prison rape?"  If the answer is "No," then I strongly recommend you reanalyze your goals.

[Joe Brock]

Deload Day #1, Rally Driving, and Pallets


Squats #105x5, #130x5, #165x5

After a very light workout, Little Mike and I went across town to pick up some pallets for Sarai.  She is into building things out of them, so I took the GPS, Directions, and the passenger seat.  Guessing that many people are unfamiliar with rally racing, I decided that I'd try to teach Mikey the concept.  I'd call out, "Right 2, dip, left 1" and that's what he had to go on to find the place.  We had no difficulty finding it, loading the pallets up, and making it back.  It's been a nice, relaxing day.

[Joe Brock]

Stupidity...Deload Stupidity


Bench #75x10, #135x1, #145x1, #155x1, #165x1, #175x1, #185x1, #195x1, #200x1

Because increasing singles are NOT a part of deload.  Big Mike (who's had surgery on his arm and spine) was wondering where his bench press had gotten back up to since the procedure.  I decided that I'd just lift singles with him.  It's like a deload, but nothing like it.  TAKE THAT PROGRAMMING.  Some days, it's better to just play it by feeling, and nothing sucks more than someone who won't just work with someone else because it's not what they "planned" on doing.  He's managed to put #50 back on in the last 6 months, so I'm really proud of him.  His left arm is still crap, but it's getting way better.

[Joe Brock]

Deload DL & ME OHPress


DL#175x5, #200x5, #275x5
OHPress #85, 90, 95, 100, 105, 110, 115, 120, 125, 130, 135, 140, 145, 150, 155, 160...then nothing else.

Deadlift is boring, so we'll skip that and go to overhead presses.  We did a strange little mix-up of ME work that we referred to as "The Showdown."  It's just a press followed by just enough rest time for more plates to be stacked on before you press again.  I managed to take the showdown by a measly #10, and muscular endurance played a pretty big part in it.  By about 130, I was starting to feel the "burn" pretty badly.  My left side lagged a bit @135, but I just kept on going.  At #165, I could barely get it off of my shoulders, and there was no hope at finishing the press.  It's fun, but not really practical programming of any kind.  It's more just a test to see how big your testicles have gotten, and who's are the biggest.  This applies to women who might want to try it too.

[Joe Brock]

Squats+Squats-Mullet and Sunglasses...or Hair.


Squats #180x5, #200x5, #235x5
Front Squats #135, 140, 145, 150, 155, 160, 165, 170, 175...and that's it.
GM #95x5x10
Jump Rope x 1 minute. (FINISH THEM!!!)

Read the previous article regarding "The Showdown" and apply to front squats after getting prescribed reps for 5/3/1 back squat (also just called squats, because I'm not stupid.)  Used jumping as a finishing conditioner after the good-mornings.  My knees are putting off unreasonable levels of warmth.  I should probably not forget to take some fish oil.

[jay_22_15]

I like you, I'll have to keep an eye on this journal.

[Joe Brock]

I like you, I'll have to keep an eye on this journal.

I like that you're enjoying it, so here's a pig eating birthday cake!

[Joe Brock]

5/3/1 Boring but Big + Strongman Conditioning


Bench Press
#120x5, #135x5, #155x5
Bench/Pull-up Supersets
#105x5x10
Single-handed Sledge Work
8lbs Hammer (the baby hammer) 3 rounds of Left 20 sec, Right 20 Sec, Rest 10 seconds.

So, since my back was slightly sore from front-squats yesterday, I had a terribly flat arch for bench pressing.  That adds about 5-6 inches of bar travel that forces you to suffer for suffering.    After a total of 65 total reps benching and a mere 50 pull-ups, I felt like a million buck when the sledge work started, for about 3 swings.  Single-handed sledge training is one of my favorites for conditioning, because I hate running...but love smashing a hammer into things.  It's manly to smash stuff, and I don't have to worry about what cute Adidas jogging suit I'm going to wear while jogging.

Little Asian girls should not be mistaken doing anything that I'd do!!!

[Joe Brock]

I pick things Up and Put them Down.


Deadlift #250x5, #285x5, #325x17
Caber Curls #130x3x8
Weighted Inverted Sit-Up #25x5x10 (Hold the Plate BEHIND the head.)

I know, I know.  Sit ups are silly, but I do them because my bands for the spud harness are breaking apart.  I am thinking about getting a system so that I can load plates on a pulley and do them in my power rack.  I could also hook some grenades to a pulley and do pull-downs while working grip.  Seems like a good plan.  Since taking up higher rep deadlifts, farmer's walks, and single-handed sledge work, it's not been grip that's limiting my pulling so much as everything located between my chin and toes.  That's a good sign.  I am thinking about taking up making sculptures from bending nails by hand.  It's like art, but more manly.

[Joe Brock]

When John Henry was a Little Baby...


OHP #80x5, #90x5, #100x5, #65x5x10
Pull-Ups 5x5
Single Handed Sledge (Baby #8 Hammer)

These last few weeks have taken a toll on me, but I've got this weekend to recover.  My wrists are aching pretty bad from the hammer work, and I'm looking at getting some grenades for grip work.  We'll see what the next few weeks hold.

[Joe Brock]

Life Interferes with my Lifting

So, normally I squat on Mondays.  Today, I needed to get my youngest boy to an appointment, so I didn't squat.  I don't plan on trying to do a "make-up" workout or anything like that.  As my current schedule allows for just enough time from one day to the next to generally beat myself into a heap of soreness and recover just in time to do it again.

I think I'll just plug my blog (assuming that anyone actually reads this crap...) http://strongmanning.blogspot.com/

It might not be as polite as I tend to be here, but it's much more specific to the "why" aspects of my focus.

Quote:
"Absolutely not. Never -- and I mean NEVER -- try anything that someone in authority, like Me, has not specifically approved in advance. This is not allowed, and is specifically prohibited, because if you do this irresponsible thing -- this Trying Things For Yourself -- you might learn on your own, and again, this is PROHIBITED.  Let me ask you a question: Are you from North Korea?"-Rip

[Joe Brock]

Mother of GOD!!!


Bench #125x3, #140x3, #155x3, #105x5x10
Pull Ups #25x5x5
Mjollnir Tabata (the BIG MFing Hammer!)
Fat Bar PD #35x5x5 (Single arm)

High volume bench followed by the most amazing day slinging a hammer in all of history.  I finally got my Mjollnir (from Ryan @ StrongerGrip.com...check his work out, it's high quality stuff.)  3 Rounds of Left+Right+rest is INSANE hard.  Seriously, this hammer has a 2" diameter handle, which means you have to "pinch grip" it because your fingers won't reach all the way around it.  It's a #12 monster, but the head is hollow.  According to Ryan, I should be able to load it to around #110 with lead.  That's just stupid, and I love it.

[Ryan Sannar]

Dude sign me up. How much was it?

[Joe Brock]

http://www.strongergrip.com/products/Thors-Hammer.html

I get special deals for being awesome, but I can assure you it's well worth the price.  Ryan hand makes every item on that page, and from what I've seen, his work is top-notch.

EDIT: Since this is a training journal, I should probably point out that I don't normally lift on Wednesday.  I took a nice bath in epsom-salt, and got my Vit. C levels up from many citrus products.  We've had some crazy weather shifts, and the dungeon isn't heated or cooled, so it pretty much sucks to workout in all year, except for the 7 days of spring that we get every year.

[Ryan Sannar]

Cool. I'll have to add that to my list.

[Joe Brock]

http://strongmanning.blogspot.com/

My blog, go there.  Realize that I'm not nearly as sarcastic there as I am here.  I still try to use humor, but it's laced with my actual thoughts on training.