Topic: some advice please?

[Shawn Meilicke]

so ive been doing parkour since april of last year. it was all by myself and me being the demotivated lazy person that i am never trained to much, and i really regret it. i want to be training ALL the time this year, and REALLY devote myself. my problem, however, lies with my girlfriend, whom ive been with since january of last year. she was supportive (sort of lol) of parkour last year, and even agreed to train with me once (never happened). this year i found some people to train with finally, which makes staying with it a LOT easier for me, and she all of the sudden has a problem with me doing parkour. she wont tell me WHY she has a problem and the only thing i can see is that im hanging out with some new people (boo-hoo right?) and im spending a little less time with her.

ive tried explaining to her that parkour is my lifestyle, its what i love, and its something i can get good at, and no one will judge me (outside of people like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!"). ive explained the philosophy and ive tried to get her interested in many ways, but alls she does is complain and act super depressed when i go off to train (she knows how to pull my strings, shes not really THAT affected by it, i can tell).

does anyone have any suggestions? i cant have her being pissed at me in the back of my mind every time i train, its too distracting and will ultimately lead to less training and more slacking off like i did last year.

tl;dr girlfriend gets mad when i train, what do?

[John Walker]

I say.. f#ck girls my life hasnt ever been good w/ them and never will be.. they just get in the way.. and reason for this is shes looking for an excuse to break up with you.. my ex girlfriend said she'd break up with me if i cut my hair.. and i cut it.. and got dumped later to find out it was an excuse to go back out with an ex boyfriend she fell in love with.. so do some snooping around.. PK Style of course
and maybe she wants you to like take her out.. something non PK related?

Heres a good idea.. Idk if ya'll have them where you live or if its to cold or what not.. but take her to a lake/ natural spring <--- personal favorite
and just spend a whole day with her.. and than take her somewhere nice..

or depending how old you are.. she wants you to pop the damn question already? idk your description isnt very scripted..

[Shawn Meilicke]

haha, im a junior shes a sophomore (in highschool). our relationship is totally fine, we dont fight too often and shes happy. she just doesnt like me doing parkour anymore for some reason (and yes ive asked for a specific reason, but she doesnt give me one)

tomorrow i got the ACT and then early release so im spending the whole day with her, and same with thursday (im taking a PSAE test, which is just a state test, total blow off, lol)

[Happy Fries]

(This should be in Socialize...)

Well, yeah, your girlfriend is getting upset, because it sounds like she wants to be with you! Part of being in a relationship means devoting your time to her, not all of it of course... but still, the reason she's with you is because she likes you (duh!) and wants to spend some private time with you. Not "shared" time like, "Oh, come with me while I train! Watch me do this kong over the table!" It's okay to spend some time like that, but no girlfriend is just going to sit and watch you practice all day.... Likewise, would you want to spend all your time with her following her around as she shops, or do nothing but watch her favorite TV show?

If you and her are going to continue together, I think you should take the time to say "I want to train on these days, or at this time, and I want to spend this other time with you, doing things you (or us) want to do." Be flexible. If you think she's sensitive about how little she sees you, and you truly like her, then show her you like her and spend more time with her! Even if that means cutting practice short, or spending one less day training. Really, that much time is not going to affect your training, but it will definitely affect your relationship. Show her how much you like her, treat her to something she likes, give her a nice massage, tell her about all the things you love about her, pamper her, etc. Girls like it when you treat them nice, and don't be afraid to be creative and romantic.

[This is all assuming that she does not have any separation or dependency issues. If this is your / her first relationship, then realize you / her may not have matured emotionally enough to work things out... which, even though it sounds bad, is still okay. Everyone grows up, just like everyone was once a newbie .]

My 2 cents  

PS: I probably wouldn't keep asking her why she doesn't like you practicing... otherwise, you're kinda putting her on the spot, and you're gunna have a bad time.... Really try spending more time with her first.

[Shawn Meilicke]

lol i guess i shall further explain

i hang out with her almost every single day after school for two hours (and by this i mean its usually at the least 4 out of 5 days), and usually every other weekend as im at my moms the other ones. we spend the majority of our free time together. both of us have had passed relationships.

we got into the whole parkour thing awhile ago (during the winter when i was talking about getting serious this year) and she said "what if you had to choose between parkour and me?" i told her id choose parkour because it has become a part of my life that i cannot get rid of, and she looked a little hurt, so maybe she feels threatened by it. in all honesty, though, she would literally have to tell me to choose between her and parkour before i ever made the choice to drop her for it.

btw, i put this in general discussion because its about my training, i guess its not super specific towards training, but its definitely something id LOVE to be able to figure out how to get passed efficiently and effortlessly, lmao

[Hazim Salem]

Well, one thing I learned from a facebook group (LOL) is that your girl will feel sad if she didn't bring that smile to your face. If you come back from training, and you're all happy, and didn't demonstrate that you missed her at all, she will feel like shit. Think about that, maybe it's why. :/

[Happy Fries]

she said "what if you had to choose between parkour and me?" i told her id choose parkour because it has become a part of my life that i cannot get rid of, and she looked a little hurt, so maybe she feels threatened by it.

Aw dude..... that was NOT the right answer.... So, yeah, she probably DOES feel threatened and jealous.


So, to ALL the gentlemen out there reading this, if a girl asks you "Would you give up ____ for me?", if you love her, the answer is going to be "YES." She won't actually make you do it most of the time (unless you're clearly hurting or others yourself in some way).

And girls, guys are kinda stupid sometimes. We can't help it. Please give us some slack. And we would really appreciate not being asked "Would you give up ____ of me?" One of the most loaded questions out there.

[FrostySTL]

Happy Fries is right, stop asking her why she's upset. You will NEVER get anywhere with that question, ever, for the rest of your life. Girls don't think the same way as guys. They are very emotional, and expect you to be able to feel the same things. If you push her long enough, the answer you will get will be...

"If you actually cared about me, you would KNOW why I am upset!"

At that point, you are screwed. So really, stop asking. LOL

[NICK DAGGER]

Go gay for a bit, it's so much more efficient.

[Shawn Meilicke]

Lmao, I told her that I wouldn't ever leave her for parkour, and I think she knew that. However today I told her I really needed an answer so I could help her feel better about it and she told me she's worried I'll find a traceuse to replace her... Obviously I told her this isn't something that will ever happen, and I said she's more than welcome to join in or watch any training sessions

any ideas on how to get her to like parkour a bit more?

[Mel Martinez]

Lmao, I told her that I wouldn't ever leave her for parkour, and I think she knew that. However today I told her I really needed an answer so I could help her feel better about it and she told me she's worried I'll find a traceuse to replace her... Obviously I told her this isn't something that will ever happen, and I said she's more than welcome to join in or watch any training sessions

any ideas on how to get her to like parkour a bit more?

Yeah, stop trying so hard!

Have you been reading any of the previous posts, man? Some of them have a lot of wisdom in them. You're missing the point ENTIRELY!

Your girlfriend is feeling threatened by your love for our art. And your response is to get her into it? Really?

Happy Fries hit it pretty much on the head. You can try to get her into it. And if it works, hooray! But it doesn't seem to be working, is it? So DO something else. Spend time with her. Go to a movie. Hang out at the mall and window shop. Go to the beach. SOMETHING other than Parkour. She's sending serious signals to you, man. You have to be sensitive to her feelings.

That being said, don't give up Parkour, or slack on your sessions. It's still important to you, sure. But make sure she knows that she is more important to you. I don't care if you have to lie. If you care about her, you'll do it. As you relax, and as you spend more non-parkour related time with her (and stop talking about it so damn much), she'll relax too.

[EpicMovement]

Aw dude..... that was NOT the right answer.... So, yeah, she probably DOES feel threatened and jealous.


So, to ALL the gentlemen out there reading this, if a girl asks you "Would you give up ____ for me?", if you love her, the answer is going to be "YES." She won't actually make you do it most of the time (unless you're clearly hurting or others yourself in some way).

And girls, guys are kinda stupid sometimes. We can't help it. Please give us some slack. And we would really appreciate not being asked "Would you give up ____ of me?" One of the most loaded questions out there.

Yeah dude. Gotta use white lies every once in awhile. The "Would you drop ____ for me?" question is the biggest kick in the d**k around; It's ok to lie just a little bit. 

[FrostySTL]

Why would you try to chase a traceuse, who is good at getting away, when you have already made the perfect catch?


Jealousy and insecurity go hand in hand. There is nothing you can do to improve the situation, because it's not your issue. Hopefully she will grow out of it. If she has had other guys leave her for another girl, then that will be affecting her. It may just take time. You CAN avoid making it worse, by not looking at other girls when she is around you. I was in a relationship where my partner had been cheated on in more than one previous relationship. As such I was always being quizzed, "Are you sure you arn't cheating on me?". I would never cheat, period, end of sentence. I just can't do that to someone. But that didn't matter. It got really old, and eventually drove us apart. Your situation doesn't seem that dire, though. Just give it some time.

[Shawn Meilicke]

exactly frosty, lol

its hard to explain my relationship with her, as ive been with her for over a year, and have tried to let you guys know whats up in under twenty sentences. the problem i have with her all the sudden not liking parkour, is that she agreed to train with me last year, and was totally into me doing it...

i spend a lot of time with her, and when i am with her parkour is not a common subject, and i dont do it too much when with her (other than the occasional vault over a fence or something) because i like being by her when shes there. we spent like two to three hours a day with each other not counting before or during school, and most of the time on weekends together. we go places a lot, like this friday, were going to go to a movie. this problem is not a result of anything else other than her not wanting me to find someone else, because she thinks that im going to want to bang any traceuse that walks by (though this could be cuz most of you guys are little horny bastards, lol).


pretty much the way ive been dealing with it is telling her she comes before parkour, but training is the next most important thing to me right now. i assure her im not going to run off with someone else before i train, and try to talk to her through texting every once in awhile while im training

its seeming to help, but i think it needs to happen more, and for longer, before shell get comfortable with it

[Jake Garner]

I would let her know that parkour means the world to you, just as she hopefully means the world to you. If she loves you, she shouldn't ask you to give up your passion. But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to drop her. Maybe just talk to her and get the point across about how much it means to you.

[Shawn Meilicke]

i have dude

its hard though... she just apparently doesnt see the point anymore... i dont know, im going to stop worrying about it unless she starts getting worse, lol