Author Topic: The Rules.  (Read 3637 times)

Offline MeKa

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #40 on: March 19, 2010, 06:04:48 AM »
Rule#36  stealth is key.
Rule#37  David belle is secretly chuck Norris

Offline Alex frogger Brown

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #41 on: March 19, 2010, 01:33:30 PM »
rule Faux: Chuck norris jokes are boring

rule Vrai: Bruce Lee whops Norrs's azzzz

rule Andy--- : mod must add "Chuck Norris" to the filter to be edited to " Bruce mother fn Lee" in Socilize
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Offline J Kyle Smith

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #42 on: March 19, 2010, 10:09:30 PM »
Rule 1337 h4x0r: f34r my 1337!!!!!

Offline Trevor McDowell

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #43 on: March 20, 2010, 06:47:17 AM »
|2|_||_3 |_33+: '/()|_||2 |_33+ |5 ()|_|+o|/-\+3o|...


I live in a world of reality. But at the same time reality is shattered by what I call my mind. I bend it to do my bidding.

Offline Dylan Antonsen

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #44 on: March 20, 2010, 07:11:42 AM »
Rule #38: Andy must cease the sexual advances on Dylan Antonsen. His lawyer is getting kinda pissed.
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Offline Andy Keller

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #45 on: March 20, 2010, 07:15:59 AM »
Rule #38: Andy must cease the sexual advances on Dylan Antonsen. His lawyer is getting kinda pissed.

Rule #39: ....... ;)
"Do it, do it well, do it well and fast."

Offline Spencer B

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #46 on: March 20, 2010, 08:37:07 AM »
Rule 40: Go to any jam in any state you can get to, and immediately begin looking for a man who emanates sheer power, will, and control; you will know when you see him. If you do not see him you must go on through the jam as if nothing happened, else wise the beings there will force you to acts that will shred your body to ribbons. If you do see him, consider yourself unlucky.

You must approach him with a look and demeanor of confidence or perhaps slight arrogance, if you don't or your facade slips at any time, he will scream and chase you down. You have no hope of outrunning him so just hope that he feels merciful and the end comes quickly. When you reach him, stand approximately 3 meters away and make a gesture of challenge to him. If a look of intense anger comes across his face, pray that what comes next will at least eventually end. If he laughs however, you're safe, for now, and you must yell, in your most impressive and dominating voice; "I wish to see the Holder of Will!" Now take a deep breath and blink.

If you're still alive you will find yourself in a cold, empty place, the only things populating it are thousands of pillars jutting from an unseen place under the mist and the man from before leaping and climbing from pillar to pillar in an erratic random manner. You must follow him exactly, stepping on each pillar he does in the order he does, and always you must keep him in your sights. As you make your way along you will find that you will visions of your greatest desires and dreams playing out on adjacent pillars. Gazing at them for too long will drive a man mad with a mad longing to go to them. Ignore them and your impulses. If you don't you will fall from the safe path where you will become the prey of the nameless creatures who wait in the mist who will devour you eternally, the pain and torture never ceasing.

If you manage to keep up with the man, the pillars will continually thin until there is but one left, where the man will stop and stand in vigil at the end of this world into the never-ending mist. Upon touching this last pillar you must not move from whatever spot you're in, and must wait. It may take hours, it may be what will seem like days, but you must wait and be patient and after some time the man will turn around. If his face is the most horrific thing you've ever seen then you were not still enough. Close your eyes immediately and you will not see the hellish monster that will end your quest here. If the man turns and you see a great smile lighted upon his face, you will immediately find yourself in a great gymnasium, spanning hundreds of stories in height and impossibly large. Do not dwell on this matter as you have work to do.

You must again follow the man, this time to the top of the tower. There are no threats here except for the risk of falling, so feel free to take your time, indeed, it may better to take advantage of the lull and rest for now. When you reach the top, he will be looking out the only window in the building. Do NOT follow suit, your mind will be flayed by the things you'll witness there. Nothing you ever do will draw his attention from it except if you ask the question, "What part will I play when They come together?" Upon hearing this he will turn and you must immediately grab the sword from the rack which has now appeared next to you. He will begin explaining what you will do in photographic detail; The hundreds you will slaughter, the pain you will endure, and the suffering you will breed as They come together. Do not be distracted by the images in your head though, or he will run you through with the shining sword he now holds. You must duel him even as he tells you the most terrible things you will ever do. The story may continue for the time of days or even weeks. The closer Their coming together is, the shorter the tale. Hope that it is a long story.

When he finishes his story, you must try and end the duel as soon as possible, for he will quickly grow bored and become vicious, slashing you to pieces. It is impossible to win this duel, but you must to try with all your might. You will be disarmed by an super-humanly deft maneuver, and at this point your fate will be decided. If you didn't try your hardest, or the man thinks you didn't, he will ream his blade through your heart and throw you out the window into the inky darkness which will mercifully destroy your mind long before you finally die. If you did, however, give it your all, he will offer you his hand to help you stand up. Don't take it if you can stand up on your own, and even if you can't, at least try to stand on your own. When you finally arise, stare him in the eyes and give him a respectful nod. He will return the gesture and take your hand, placing an indeterminate shape which glows with ecstatic and permanent warmth in your hand. Nod again. When you bring your head up you will find yourself back at the jam, an hour after it has ended.

The hunk of metal is object 1537 out of 2538. It will graft itself to the skin of your hands and you'll find that you'll never become ill again and that with each passing day you grow stronger. But now they know you exist and your days will never be filled with peace again. Will it be worth it when They come together?
« Last Edit: March 20, 2010, 08:41:41 AM by Spencer B »
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There are times when you want to break down and rage at the heavens. Don't. Stay calm, and let the emotions flood in, accept them and then rise above them. Never dwell. Don't fear or worry. Anything worth thinking about is worth talking about. And... Good luck.

Offline Ashley McC

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #47 on: March 20, 2010, 09:03:27 AM »
Rule #41: If you read the rule above then you think of rules way to much. :)
“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand."

Offline Andrew Wilson

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #48 on: March 20, 2010, 01:48:50 PM »
Rule # 42: If you blinked at any time while reading rule 40, you will die.

On a side note, Holy Shit Spence
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Offline Ashley McC

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #49 on: March 20, 2010, 02:44:52 PM »
Rule #43: Rule 42 does not apply because Andrew Wilson is banned from this thread
“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand."

Offline J Kyle Smith

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #50 on: March 20, 2010, 03:34:18 PM »
Rule #44: I will read rule #40 later.

Offline Chris DeBow

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #51 on: March 20, 2010, 08:25:56 PM »
Rule #33: Rule 32 is not good because people can get hurt that way.
Rule #34: If it exists, there is porn of it.
Rule #35: If there is no porn of it, it must be made.
(I just had to do it.)
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I WAS GONNA DO THAT!
This space intentionally left blank.

Offline Trevor McDowell

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #52 on: March 20, 2010, 08:31:43 PM »
You are really late. lol


I live in a world of reality. But at the same time reality is shattered by what I call my mind. I bend it to do my bidding.

Offline Spencer B

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #53 on: March 20, 2010, 11:02:53 PM »
So I take it Rule 40 is a great success?
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There are times when you want to break down and rage at the heavens. Don't. Stay calm, and let the emotions flood in, accept them and then rise above them. Never dwell. Don't fear or worry. Anything worth thinking about is worth talking about. And... Good luck.

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #54 on: March 21, 2010, 05:10:04 AM »
So I take it Rule 40 is a great success?

What jam will you be at next?

I need to give you a high five.

Offline Spencer B

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #55 on: March 21, 2010, 11:46:14 AM »
What jam will you be at next?

I need to give you a high five.

Probably the state wide MO jam at St. Louise if I can make it.
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There are times when you want to break down and rage at the heavens. Don't. Stay calm, and let the emotions flood in, accept them and then rise above them. Never dwell. Don't fear or worry. Anything worth thinking about is worth talking about. And... Good luck.

Offline Harry Smith

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #56 on: March 21, 2010, 05:30:05 PM »
rule # 45 : Chatroulette is a place for guys masturbating to broadcast it (and watch others do the same)

Went there after seeing the Piano improv guy... Terror, just  pure terror.....

Offline Spencer B

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #57 on: March 21, 2010, 07:31:32 PM »
rule # 45 : Chatroulette is a place for guys masturbating to broadcast it (and watch others do the same)

You didn't know that already?
www.cracked.com
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There are times when you want to break down and rage at the heavens. Don't. Stay calm, and let the emotions flood in, accept them and then rise above them. Never dwell. Don't fear or worry. Anything worth thinking about is worth talking about. And... Good luck.

Offline Harry Smith

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #58 on: March 22, 2010, 07:45:17 AM »
....no....

Offline max eisenberg

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Re: The Rules.
« Reply #59 on: March 22, 2010, 08:27:45 AM »
Rule #29: All your base belong to us.

i lol'd


my mind is constantly moving, one day my body will be strong enough to keep up.