Author Topic: Deborah's Log  (Read 11849 times)

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #100 on: July 03, 2011, 08:05:14 PM »
Hooray!!!!!!!!!! ;D :D :)

Thanks Y4ZT! I'll remember that!

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #101 on: July 06, 2011, 05:28:22 PM »
July 5, 2011

The high was 105, and the A/C isn't working. BLEAH.

Had a headache and minimal energy.

I should start recording food intake, but I have no memory of what I ate >.<

Did 3 sets of:
10 jumping jacks, jumping as high and landing as quietly as I could.
10 knee pushups. I tried a few REAL pushups, but couldn't do it.  :'(
10 situps.
10 squats.

Laid on the floor and while keeping shoulders flat on the floor with arms stretched to the sides, did the windshield wiper motion with my legs, extending them 90 degrees from my torso on each side. Did a few of those. Forgot to count.

Did all these as fast as I could. While I'm glad I could get through them without stopping, I was sorry to feel how out of breath and shaky I was when I finished. I had a hard time taking a shower immediately after because my legs were shaking so much.

July 6

Breakfast: whole wheat spiral noodles with beef hamburger, broccoli and gravy on them. Probably 1/2 cup noodles, 1/2 cup meat/broccoli slop stuff.

Midmorning: plum

Lunch: two small whole wheat breads with cream cheese.

Supper: wasn't going to have any, but grandpa went and bought Mountain Mike's pizza to do something special, so I ate three pieces.

Mowed the front lawn of my aunt's violin shop, and did about 15 minutes of weed-wacking, until the string jammed AGAIN. Trimmed some bushes, then waited around outside for a lesson to finish. I measured that concrete ring and it's about 15 inches high at the point where I box-jump.

Did 3 sets of 5 box jumps.
Did 5 tuck jumps. Was happy that I could kind of do it! The last time I tried I couldn't seem to get my knees pulled up fast enough to even get into a tuck before landing. I could tuck and almost extend before landing today!
Tried to practice rolling, 'cause I haven't done any rolling work in probably a year or more. Did three of them, but somehow smashed the corner of my shoulder hard into the ground each time. I quit at that point to watch the shop and get started on my studies while my aunt went to mail a bow.

I started on July first taking fish oil and a multi-vitamin every day. My energy levels are still low, but at least I have had a couple days without a constant headache lately.

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #102 on: July 08, 2011, 08:55:08 PM »
July 7

Breakfast: two pieces of bread with tuna salad, a slice of tomato and a slice of cheese, broiled.
Lunch: 1 cream cheese and honey sandwich.
Supper: Macaroni salad.

Mowed the back lawn at the shop in the morning. Walked about 1/3 of a mile each way to get gas for the mower.

In the evening did a lot of wrist warmups because I REALLY don't want to mess them up again!

1 half handstand (?) for 20 seconds. Walked backwards up the wall, into a kind of half up handstand.
1 half handstand for 10 seconds.
5 full body pushups, but not with very good ROM.
Searched fruitlessly for somewhere or something in my room I could practice pull-up motion, but couldn't come up with anything. :(

July 8

Breakfast: 1 cup of beef hamburger, mixed vegetable, flour gravy slop.
Lunch: 1 cup cottage cheese, 1 hard-boiled egg.
Supper: An apricot, a couple frozen strawberries and a handfull of blueberries that had been dipped in melted carob.

Mowed the back and front lawns at the house, then spent 1/2 hour pickaxing to break up and dig out a very large root in a hole grandpa's digging to plant a pomegranate tree. It was not problem swinging the axe, and after a few tries I remembered how to hit where I want to hit, but after it bit in, I had to get it out. THAT was the hard part!

No structured exercises. :(

Applied for some more jobs. Before I moved I was walking at least 1/2 a mile each way to get to work almost every day. Sometimes I'd end up walking that 2 or 3 times, and then the intense activity while at work. Now, I haven't got a job to walk to, and most of my time is spent sitting and studying, or standing still while working on the piano. I really hope I get a job soon!!! The inactivity is literally killing me!

EDIT: Also, tried to work on those rolls again. My shoulder was hurting so bad though that even a light touch on it hurts. I watched Ryan Doyle's tutorial, and I want to try that soon; as soon as my shoulder eases up.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2011, 08:58:36 PM by Hopefulpilot »

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #103 on: July 10, 2011, 08:28:38 PM »
July 9

Breakfast: Tuna salad on lettuce with tomatoes, orange juice.
Lunch:  Strawberries with honey, goat milk and... there was something else, but I can't remember what it was.
Supper: a pear, a couple apricots.

Rest day.

July 10

Breakfast: Open faced turkey hamburgers with lettuce and tomato, orange juice.
Lunch: open faced egg salad sandwich (made with blue cheese dressing instead of mayo 'cause we're out of mayo [hallelujah!!!]), goat milk, pear.
Supper: wasn't going to have any until someone got a bag of tortilla chips out. I ate 4 handfuls of those. Big handfuls. >.<

Worked a little on my roll again today. Much better. Not really good though.

5 full body push-ups, with better ROM than last time, but not full range yet.
35 jump ropes.

5 full body push-ups
30 attempts at jump roping, but either got the rope caught on the back of my skirt, stepped on the rope after one time through, or brought it up between my feet. Never got the rhythm back.

7 knee push-ups. Didn't feel the energy to do full body, but these seemed ridiculously easy. In an attempt to make them harder, I got a little too enthusiastic, fell forward and knocked my forehead on the sidewalk, clunking my teeth together. That's why there's only 7, not 10.
35 jumping jacks. Jumped as high as I could on each one.

5 full body pushups. I took my time with these. Getting pretty tired and shaky at this point.
35 jumping jacks. Actually, a set of 30 and a set of 5 because I didn't think I could finish.

5 minutes of walking around talking myself into doing one more set.

5 full body pushups. The last three I had to dip my knees down a little to help push off.
35 jumping jacks. These were more like bouncing jacks, but I got them done.

Another shaky shower!

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #104 on: July 15, 2011, 06:09:19 AM »
UGH. My exercise has been crap. I've been applying to jobs like crazy, and I think maybe because I only have one job to put on my resume could be a problem? I was there 7 years, since just before I turned 18, but... I don't know. :( I've been depressed and discouraged lately, which doesn't help my energy levels.

Hmm. I can't remember meals that far back.

Most breakfasts have been meat/veggie/gravy slop on a piece of bread. Except once, we had salmon on lettuce instead!
Most lunches are yogurt and egg salad sandwich.
I always MEAN to skip supper, and always end up eating something anyway. Usually cottage cheese and fruit. Last night was pizza. Again. >.<
I know I'm getting way too much bread. At this house, the importance of foods, in order from highest to lowest is: bread, meat, dairy, vegetables. I get a lot of fruit because it's ripe and growing on trees here so I can pick it whenever I want. Once that's gone, I won't be getting even that. But vegetable-wise, there's only a little bit of frozen mixed vegetables or corn in the morning slop and that's it. I REALLY gotta get a job so I can buy my own vegetable things to snack on!

Been working on my rolls. Still hurting my shoulder. I guess that's an improvement from when I last worked on them. I was always banging my non-rolling elbow into the ground. I think that was because I didn't have enough momentum. Now I have enough, but I have to deal with this shoulder thing.

Box jumping several times a day on that 15 inch wall at the shop. I have it totally conquered, and now I'm trying to figure out how to make it more challenging again, because I can't find any way to make it taller.

Thoroughly explored the yards at the shop and the house trying to find something to do pull-ups on. At the house, there is that beam along the back porch, but I have to jump up to get it, so I can't do negatives very well. At the shop, there are some fig tree branches low enough, but to be strong enough (the fig is really flexible. It doesn't hold weight well) the branches have to be the big fat ones, and the bark is so smooth I can't get a grip. My hands slide right off. There are a few plum branches low enough, but they can't hold my weight. A young rogue tree is growing right behind the storage building, and it has to get chopped down soon. If I step up on the lowest thick branch (about a foot from the ground) and grab the top branches, I can bend the sapling down to chin level, but that isn't really much help. There were some really awesome trees at the house when we moved here, but grandpa had them chopped down a week later so he could plant his dwarf fruit trees. <:( Those aren't good for climbing or pull-ups, or anything AT ALL.

Yesterday I measured across the shop back yard. It's about 105 feet. It did lunges across that, and was going to try burpees, but got called in to tend the shop while my aunt ran some errands. While she was gone, I tried putting my hands on the arms of a chair (the arms were 7" up from the seat) and jumping my feet into the chair. I've tried before and always failed. Hands were about a foot back from the front of the seat. By concentrated on pulling my knees into my chest instead of jumping my feet high enough, I easily planted my feet onto the seat of the chair! Hurray! Then I tried moving my hands to the front of the chair so I'd have to tuck harder. Fail. I have a bruise on one shin and a long rug burn down the front of the other. Oh well. Gotta work on tucking some more.

It's 7:00 am now, and I gotta go mow the lawn. I'll try to remember to keep this updated better!



Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #105 on: July 17, 2011, 08:17:26 PM »
Friday, July 15

I can't remember that far back food wise... >.< Basic stuff, except I had to walk to the store to buy ice, so I bought a cookie too. >.>

Mowed the lawn in the morning, fixed 5 chips in the windshield, cleaned the house from top to bottom for guests on Saturday, and didn't get much standard exercise in. :(

Saturday, July 16

Rest day.

Had one guest for lunch. Lol! We're used to, if we have guests, having multiple, large, home-school families all at once, so having one guest was really different! We had no idea how much food to have, so, we probably had enough for 5 or 6 guests. Which means, I ate a LOT more than I should have.  :-[

In the evening, we went biking. My aunt had a terrible experience with her bike when she was 6 or so, and has never ridden since. We've gone on short little runs while she learns how to balance, turn, etc. That day we decided to go for a "real" ride and see if we could get to a Raley's nearby by going through neighborhoods, avoiding busy roads. Well, we didn't quite get that far, but we did four miles of riding! It was so good to get out and do that again!

Sunday, July 17

Planted 4 trees, but it wasn't terribly strenuous because grandpa has spent three weeks digging the holes, so those were already done.

Painted some more on the house. That was some good exercise! I'm way more comfortable on the ladder than I've ever been. Able to walk up the ladder like steps now, instead of shakily holding on while stepping up one step at a time. I got the job of taping everything up, which included the eaves along the top of the wall, painting those areas, and edging above doors and wherever else had to be reached by ladder, then taking all the tape down. It seems that climbing the ladder is more wearing on one's feet than walking??

Messed about on the beam along the back porch. I think maybe I can pull myself up just a little higher tonight! Of course, it could just be wishful thinking...

Worked on rolls. Experimented around to find what works. If I go slow, I don't slam my hip, but I slam my shoulder. If I roll faster, I don't hurt my shoulder, but slam my hip, or bounce my lower back on the ground. I tried a few rolls tucking harder. I have no idea what I'm really doing because that somehow slows me way down and I kind of just flop over on my side.  ??? My last attempt was trying to get speed and better tuck. Somehow I got my left foot caught under me, and twisted my ankle. It hurt real bad for a few minutes and I was wondering how I would explain how I sprained it. But it's better now. As long as I don't wiggle it around, it's OK.

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #106 on: August 24, 2011, 08:10:57 PM »
Oh my! Over a month since my last post! It doesn't feel that long...

Rolls are back up to about where they were when I last used them.

Been working hard on pull-ups and knees-to-elbows. Still can't do either though. >.<

Tried the "hollow rock" exercise several times, but I can't press my lower back into the floor so that I can't fit my flat hand under. Laying normally I can pass my fist (little finger on the floor, thumb up) no problem. Lifting my legs and pressing my lower back down best I can, I can pass my flat hand through without touching. If I work REALLY hard and pull my knees to my chest, I can make it tight enough that I have to push a little to get under. I'm guessing that it's because of this that I can't really rock when I do hollow rocks. I can sit up, then thump back down onto my back and never get my hips up. Anyway, I haven't found a good core exercise that I can actually do yet. MAN I wish I had some kind of weight that would stay on a pole here! Then I could work on dead lifts. :(

Am able to do 10 real pushups in a row now. Trying to work on explosiveness. May take a while. :\

One legged squats are getting better. There's a ladder at the shop that I stand behind, hovering one leg above the third rung, and lowering myself on the other leg. Then I can use the rungs in front of me to assist in lifting back up. I can't quite lift myself un-assisted in one legged squats yet.

Trying every three days or so to get into a handstand against a wall. I have some kind of block about throwing my legs up. I get a little bit of a jump, but... I don't think I've ever even got my legs half-way up.

When grandpa's at work I sneak in and run on his treadmill sometimes. I can run a lot farther on that than I can on real sidewalk. I can run 1/4 of a mile non-stop so far on there. Bleh.

Weight loss was very slowly happening until I visited home in Redding. I gained every bit of it back.  :-[

Job hunt has gone nowhere.

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #107 on: August 28, 2011, 07:51:30 AM »
I've heard (seen) people in sfparkour talk about IronWorks and what a great place it is etc. I WENT PAST IT YESTERDAY! I wasn't even looking for it! We were on our way to San Francisco to a really fantastic Mendelssohn concert, and the GPS took us through the middle of some towns, and on our way through, RIGHT THERE was this big old metal barn building with IronWorks and some stuff about fitness on it. I wanted to stop so bad! But I was with my aunt, and that wasn't even a remote possibility with her. But now I know where it is, and even though it's 2 hours away, I'm gonna get there someday!

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #108 on: September 06, 2011, 07:17:27 PM »
Got a pretty good workout today (6/9/11). I've managed to smuggle a 1 1/2" x 6' metal pipe into the backyard of the shop, and have found a place I can put it in the fig tree to give me a pull-up place! I had been using that sapling, but it wasn't strong enough and I broke the branches off.

I'm working on pushups with my feet up on something about 15-20 inches off the floor. I've been able to get 5 in a row. My goal is to be able to do 3 clapping pushups this month. I can't get the oomph to explode off the floor, so I'm hoping that making them harder by raising my feet progressively will make it easier to push explosively in a bit with my feet on the floor.

One legged squats are getting better. Not using my arms to assist as much, but still can't do them without hands.

Trying to get handstands down, and frustrated that I can't seem to break whatever barrier won't let me throw my legs over my head.  >:( I tried cartwheels, and failed badly, slamming my knees into the ground again. I tried convincing myself that it wouldn't hurt too much if I just kick up my legs and throw myself over like a somersault, but on my hands. I can't do it! AURGH!

While Cheryl was giving lessons in the shop, I hung out in the backyard. I got the pole setup in the fig tree and tried various things on it. One end of the post is on a horizontal branch between two vertical branches, so it moves around, but can't come off. The other end is hooked in the crotch of where a big branch used to be, against the trunk, the stub of branch being about 3" long. I tried a small wall-run up the trunk to grab the pipe, it rolled towards me in my hands, rolling right off the stub and landing me on my back on ground littered with rotting figs. I got them smooshed into the back of my skirt, and vest. I didn't think my head hit the ground. At least, I didn't feel it. Anyway, smooshed figs on the back of a skirt are pretty embarrassing, so I used the garden hose to hose myself off, and kept exercising 'till I dried off. Messed around on the 15" wall, trying to figure out other stuff to do with it. That wall is the neighborhood cats' bathroom. All along the inside of the ring is piles of cat poo. Old stuff, dug up and moved out of the way for fresh stuff, of which there is plenty all the time. The whole area stinks from it. I slipped up on the wall, and landed on my back in my wet clothes, in that stuff. >.< Whew!! Second hose off in 15 minutes! Eventually moved inside, gave two piano lessons, greeted some of my aunt's customers, who looked at me funny, etc. Got home, and found out that while I got my clothes fairly clean, I hadn't realized I had all that mess in my hair too!!   :o SOMEBODY should have told me! I should have thought to check in a mirror sometime during the day. Something! Lol! I had a fig squashed right on the side of my head. You'd think at least my aunt would mention it!  :)

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #109 on: September 16, 2011, 06:14:46 PM »
9-16-11

Lost 1 pound since last post. >.>

Anyway, got a good workout with a sledge hammer this last week, and now that I've busted up all the concrete available to be busted, I'm trying to come up with a creative way to keep on sledging. I know tires are good, but there's no way I can keep one of those around without grandpa getting rid of it. If I could find a good patch of dirt I can slam into maybe?? I don't know what exactly it benefits, but I enjoy doing it, and it IS some form of exercise, so hopefully it's good for me.

Finally getting comfortable with rolls. And now that we got our fence up I have something to vault over! I haven't tried anything yet because I'm worried about breaking a 2x4. But... planning to watch some monkey tutorials and see what I can do.

Still working on pushups. There is no way I can get explosiveness yet. Got to figure that out someday. :\ I noticed my ROM is still bad. I can't lift myself up yet if I go all the way to the floor. Bet it'll help if I get full ROM! Tried a few dive-bombers yesterday... yeah. Not happening yet. :(

I was just getting into the habit of running at least a 1/4 mile on grandpa's treadmill in the evenings while he's away at work. But just when I was getting used to it he got fired, and now he's home all the time so that's not working out. It's getting dark early enough though that I think I can sneak out and run down the street and around the parking lot of the HUGE retirement home next to us without my absence being noticed too much. I'm always worried something bad will happen to me while I'm sneaking around, and then I'll have to explain to everyone where I was and what I was doing. I'd probably enjoy myself more if I wasn't so busy worrying.  ::)


Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #110 on: November 04, 2011, 07:08:39 PM »
EDIT: I deleted this post because it was just a lot of whining.

No life isn't easy, and I'm keeping this here because I want to be able to look back and remember it when things start looking up for me.

So here I am. I'm going to try to drag myself back into it again, just this time I'll be even more on my own than usual. I don't even have brothers around! Seems like I'm ALWAYS starting over at the beginning and never really getting anywhere. Well, we'll see how far I get before I crash this time.  8)
« Last Edit: November 06, 2011, 08:12:29 AM by Hopefulpilot »

Offline Joseph S

  • Patas
  • ***
  • Posts: 164
  • Karma: +4/-0
  • Blissfully wed to a derby skater who likes Parkour
    • View Profile
    • Geek Physique
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #111 on: February 23, 2012, 10:30:09 AM »
Hey, glad to see you're still training!
Weight management is difficult.  The thing though about Parkour is that you run a pretty good chance of your scales not telling you anything useful, as you build muscle mass.  From your posts, it sounds like you do a few very physical chores as part of a regular routine.  Those do not sound aerobic, generally, though.  If you really want to focus on reducing the fat balance in your body, push-ups and pull-ups won't do much for that.  I don't know where you are in Sacramento, but I know my cousins used to spend every day swimming in the American river, because they lived along it, and it gets hot out there.  Sandburg Drive, if I recall. 
You know, I've been meaning to tell you, since I first posted on your training log, I started a fitness and wellness club in the town where I live, and ran it for 17 months and it continues to this day under leadership I appointed.  For a good number of the participants, it was the first time they had exercised in ten or more years.  My largest event had 150 participants.  I had some difficult situations which brought me to start the club ( a tool to let go of a loss ), but the club became a way of taking one kind of feelings and making something useful out them.  My friends have not-so-sarcastically joked that it was "my other child."  Anyway, I'm bringing it up to you now because of a few reasons:
  • The inspiration of doing this club came from encouraging you and others like you
  • I wish something like this existed in Sacramento
  • It is very clear to me that you desire a group to train with you

You've mentioned your depression.  I respect that, but I hope you treat it with respect in your life.  It is important to separate the bio-chemistry from the thoughts they bring and the thoughts you intend.  At the end of the day, it feels to me like you just aren't connected enough with a community of women for Parkour.  I can't fix that from where I am.
As a fan of cross-training, I'm going to make a suggestion:
http://sacredcityderbygirls.com/
http://saccityrollers.com
That's two of the local Roller Derby leagues in Sacramento, and the second has a youth league (you mentioned children).  Women of all different sizes come together and train for excellence and for each other.  I'm pretty sure they have a recreational team in their league which means you can train with them without having to do contact skating.  WFTDA is not the roller derby of years past.  For some inspiration, read this popular blog from a woman who started where you started with Parkour, but in roller derby:
http://ferretonwheels.blogspot.com/
I think that's what you're missing: a community of women who will train with you.  Parkour is catching on, sure.  But, for the present, I think you need a good peer group of women. Who knows?  Maybe some of the skaters have wanted to try Parkour but never met you. 

Best wishes,
Vexar
"Exercise doesn't make you tired.  That's your brain giving up because your body is uncomfortable."
"Age is a constant reminder that nothing is accomplished without a routine."

Offline Hopefulpilot

  • Guenons
  • **
  • Posts: 83
  • Karma: +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #112 on: May 31, 2012, 05:59:15 PM »
Vexar, I want to say "thank you" for your post. I think you're totally right about needing a community, but I moved back to Redding in January, and haven't found anything like that here yet.  :-\ I saw your post back in March, but my computer has been bugging out, and this is the first time my browser actually has let me post something in here!

Update: May 31, 2012

I've moved back to Redding, living with my parents again. My Great-Aunt has loaned me her car for the last three months, and we're in the process of getting it put in my name! I'm gonna have my own car!!! WOOT!!!!!!! That makes it SO MUCH EASIER to go places and do things! I have my old job back, but with the understanding that I will NOT be called in at random times almost every day. I'm enjoying the job much better now that I don't worry myself sick every day, having a panic attack every time the phone rings, knowing that pretty much every time it's calling me in to cover someone's job. My piano tuning has slowed pretty much to a stop, but I'm building a client list of people to take care of: clean their houses, take them to appointments, etc. With this job, my goal is to have a reason to be away from home a lot, and then I can do things like go to jams (if we can get some local ones going), and meet people, and so forth.




Offline Joseph S

  • Patas
  • ***
  • Posts: 164
  • Karma: +4/-0
  • Blissfully wed to a derby skater who likes Parkour
    • View Profile
    • Geek Physique
Re: Deborah's Log
« Reply #113 on: July 25, 2012, 08:13:17 AM »
Deborah,
  It sounds like routine is interfering the most with your training.  I can relate.  My best advice is to simply get up at 6:00am and train.  Nobody will call you so early, you know?  I was on business in Santa Clara, CA last week, and it was very long days for me, with compulsory "evening receptions," which means, for everyone else, free alcohol.  Fortunately, one of my co-workers from Austin, TX was there, and she nudged me to train in the mornings.  I got in a good 45 minutes before an 8:00am start time for the conference, and it was enough.  Why bring this up?  You need to get up early.  Even if it is to go do some quadrupedal movement down the path, it is still training. 
   When I'm home, it's easy.  My wife has fallen in love with Parkour now, and we got my youngest daughter into it, so Parkour means family time now.  Maybe there's an opportunity with one of your more supportive and encouraging friends or family to train?  All you need is one person.
   Regarding piano tuning, I'm very fussy about my piano (it has a colorful history for a piano), and eventually, because of where my wife works, I got access to one of the best around.  Considering he has work with the university, he has steady business.  My advice is to find places where a piano is in regular performance use, and work there.  Alternately, you could get some part-time work at a music shop.  If music is really your thing, you should make it your life.   Surround yourself with it.  I realize Redding isn't exactly a sprawling metropolis of culture, but you would be surprised where you can find pianos in businesses.  Maybe there's a retirement home out there with a piano that needs tuning.  Don't be afraid to volunteer once or twice, but ask for business leads afterwards. 
   If I may impart beyond the secular for just a little, I believe you need to spend more time listening to how God sees you and not the tiny boxes into which others sometimes try to conform you.  Finding your own path in life is a matter of taking steps and awaiting guidance.  One meditation I have found exceedingly powerful is a labyrinth.  You are very fortunate to live in Redding:
www.cslredding.org/labyrinth.html
   I really believe in you. 
"Age is a constant reminder that nothing is accomplished without a routine."