Topic: "Chivalry"

[Rebecca Myers]

This being a primarily male forum, I decided to ask here. Please do not shout at me or get all raw.

SO, I was chillin' with my friends after school, and my friend said something stupid so I slugged him in the arm. (Not hard, although I can punch hard. Me and most of my friends pretty much beat on eachother, haha.) This friend is a guy. My other friend, who's a girl, punched him too. Then the guy straight up stated that he won't hit a girl.

I hate things like that. If I slugged you in the face, wouldn't you hit me back?

That's why I love judo and wrestling and BJJ. They're co-ed sports. And if a guy won't throw me, it's hiw own fault if I dump him on his butt.

What d'you guys think?

[Milquetoast]

It's a perfectly valid question to ask, and while I'm glad to see a female with a progressive attitude, I have to say that your friend is correct.  The problem is that, with current societal standards, it's a no-win situation for a guy to fight with a girl.  Regardless of the outcome, the guy will be at fault and there's just no way to win.  Specifically:

If the guy wins: Wow, you beat up a girl.  I hope you're proud of yourself, you misogynistic pig.  Now why don't you go rob some old people, you lowlife.
If the guy loses: Wow, you got beat up by a girl.  Good going, you sissy.  Now why don't you move to another city because you'll never live it down in this town?

So you see, really the only way is to grit your teeth and take it like a man...  It's just not easy being a guy in this day and age... 

[Rebecca Myers]

And that's exactly the situation I hate, Eugene. Some girls can actually fight. If a guy beat me up, I'd say good job, because I actually know how to fight, hah.

[Milquetoast]

Again, I think it's great that you have a progressive attitude -- the world would be a much more equal place if everyone saw things this way.  But, I also hope you see where I'm coming from...  I'm not refusing to fight women because I think they're weak or something (my older sister beat that concept out of me before I even conceived it).  I won't fight women because I can't win regardless of the outcome.  I'm assuming this is why your friend won't fight back, but there's always the possibility that he's a closet masochist and secretly enjoys the beatings.  You just don't know...   

[operation_jetpack]

yeah that's something i never really liked.. women are equals to men, but you still cant hit em!

if some girl hits me pretty hard id probably hit back.

if she complains about it then i'd tell her its all a part of being equal!

[khaos14]

It's not that you can't hit a girl. You just can't beat up on them like you would a guy. If they show you that they want to fight, and have the intention of beating you to a pulp, then you start swinging. You let her take the first shot. I'm a guy who lives with this culture all the time. (southerner) So it might be different for different areas Idk. But that's the way it's supposed to be. btw Eugene had a great point. +1!

[Poet (Jesse) Clark]

Guys, what I say is, if this girl you are beating on happens to be a close friend and it's all in good fun...enjoy it while it lasts.
We are quickly moving towards a watered-down sue-happy society where even the hint of wrestling with friends is grounds for detainment. The fact is, chivalry as we knew it, is dead. Chivalry itself will never die, it will only change. We just have to know where.

So to be clear, I don't encourage completely obliterating your friend but a casual playing around isn't gonna hurt.
(Please keep in mind that if you're doing this in public, some people may take offense to this and could cause potential problems.)

Happy fighting. 

[Casey Kandel]

I myself believe in Chivalry very much. If I hit a girl its out of play and I don't mean to hurt (though I accidentally do sometimes).

I would never hit a girl out of anger unless my life (or someone elses) depended on it.

For me its hard because my girlfriend think she can beat me up (though i tell her over and over I wont hit her). So when shes hitting me (playing of course) I usually ust do a firemans carry and slam her on a bed or soft surface.

I actually have one guy who says he can beat me up because she jokingly said she could beat me up and he thought she was serious... he was like, "yeah... I can beat you."

Unbeknownst(sp?) to him I am a practioner of Muay Thai and Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu.

I think the main reason is is that he likes her and I'm with her.

Oh well... sorry for off topc... I didn't mean to gloat if tht is what I did in any way.

[Rebecca Myers]

Casey, and anyone who does martial arts/wrestling. If you were paired with me to spar, would you go easy on me? Well, not me exactly, because I look like the smallest, weakest chick, haha. But a girl. Would you go easy on her?

[Ozzi]

I think Rebecca has a point,

First, there is a difference between Chivalry and wussiness. And he is being a bit of a wuss, he doenst have to hit you back. Instead he can think of something else to get you back and still keep it fun but cruel  . Most girl I know can handle a tickle attack, if you are ticklish and you hit me after I told you to stop. I would probably tickle you until you pee on yourself or until you beg for mercy.

If you are not ticklish then I will have to wait and give you a wagy (sp), or a charly horse to leave you limping for a bit, if I know you know how to fight I'll get back in my fight stance and playfully challenge you, tease you and just take you to the ground where I will spank your butt until it is pruple.. there are several way you can get back to a girl while still keeping it fun and playful and still give them a challenge, which is what they all want. Not because they are women and you are "suppose" to be a gentleman should they walk all over you a guy.

My two cents.

[Casey Kandel]

Casey, and anyone who does martial arts/wrestling. If you were paired with me to spar, would you go easy on me? Well, not me exactly, because I look like the smallest, weakest chick, haha. But a girl. Would you go easy on her?

That is an entirely different situation to me. We are in a space made for fighting, we both know eachothers intentions, and we are trying to help eachother better our skills.


Ozzies Post:
NMy girlfriend is not tickleish in anyway... I've tried anything. The only thing I can do to her is wrestle her down or parry all her attempts

[Rebecca Myers]

Ozzie, I believe the spelling is "Wedgie". And Dang man, you're a dirty fighter, haha.

[Charles Moreland]

Back in my sophmore year in high school I had to wrestle a girl. First off, she didn't look like a girl so I did my best to destroy the mental image. Looking back on the situation, it was a lose lose. I pinned her in one move. Fight lasted a couple seconds. I didn't gloat or anything, yet all that next week I was "talk of the hall" about me "beating on girls." What else could I have done? I could have either let it drag on or even allowed her to win which also would reflect poorly on my "male status."

No matter what, society will find a way to spin it because it's a classic genuinely humorous and comedic situation; the great battle of the sexes. In the end, the female will always have the escape option "I'm a girl," which the male does not get.

I could care less about my personal societal image. Regardless, I'd hope to never be in that situation again. I should also mention I've never been in a fight after my decade plus in the martial arts. With that, you hit me out of anger, spite, or malice and male or female I will react accordingly.

[Rebecca Myers]

One move, that's pathetic for ANY wrestler, haha.

In gym we were playing volleyball one day, a guy on my team, captain of our wrestling team, hits the ball over the net, and it bounces next to this little tiny girl, who we all hit it to because she won't hit back, she just giggles. And this kid on the other team (the guys were friends) yells over to the kid, "So Joe, is that how you're so good at wrestling, too? D'you pick on the girls?" I yell over that, I'm a girl, and I wrestle, and he starts freaking out trying to get himself out of it, hehe.

[Charlie" Frontflip" Chase]

I personally don't feel any different about hitting a girl. If a girl hits me then i have no problem hitting her back. If i do and she complains i will say that she hit me thus causing me to retaliate. Its the whole equal rights thing, women want, and should get, the exact same rights as men. That means the no hitting girls rule disappears in my opinion.

[Andy Animus Tran]

I'm a feminist, so I'm all for equal rights and equal treatment.  At the same time, I'm a very traditional person, and as a male, I think that you need to open the door for anyone, regardless of sex, and hitting a girl is just a straight-out no...  If a girl playfully hits you, you retaliate in different ways... I'm keen on Ozzi's method, though I'm the most ticklish human being in the world, so it normally ends up as an immense tickle fight.  Now, the flip to this is if a girl is seriously trying to harm me...  At this point, sex doesn't matter, and retaliation is well-deserved.

[Ozzi]

Casey, and anyone who does martial arts/wrestling. If you were paired with me to spar, would you go easy on me? Well, not me exactly, because I look like the smallest, weakest chick, haha. But a girl. Would you go easy on her?

That is an entirely different situation to me. We are in a space made for fighting, we both know eachothers intentions, and we are trying to help eachother better our skills.


Ozzies Post:
NMy girlfriend is not tickleish in anyway... I've tried anything. The only thing I can do to her is wrestle her down or parry all her attempts

You looking for advice? I charge for that... lol.

One thing you could do if you got a good pain tolerance level. As she is hitting you ignore her, or say "man I need to buy a bug killer, I got mosquitoes" If she hits too hard to resist, get it on the ground, get on top of her with her arms under your legs and pinch her chicks like a little baby and tell her that she is just wanting to get your attention so bad because she is needy. Then you give her a kiss, get up and tell her that you are still buying that mosquito repellent. Be a jerk, but be funny and "sweet".
__________________________________________
When I was in 5th grade, I dont remember why, but this girl slapped me in the middle of the very crowded rec patio, as you can imagine EVERYONE who saw that just scream, laughed, mocked and BOO'd me. I, without a thought smiled, nodded and reacted by slapping her as well, not hard at all, but just a silly-just to touch her face-kind of slap. After that, I looked her straight in the eye with a smirk on my face disguising the fact that I was a little nervous about what I had just done, then walked away.

Her eyes just popped out wide open in shock, she was frozen, like nailed to the ground. Every one changed the direction of their mocking laughter, they looked at her like she was a silly little bitch.

After that nothing really happen, not talks, no comments. NADA.

I am not proud nor ashamed of it, but I thought it was a funny moment in my life.

[Charlie" Frontflip" Chase]

Hahaha thanks for sharing that little story with us Ozzi.

[Milquetoast]

When I was in 5th grade, I dont remember why, but this girl slapped me in the middle of the very crowded rec patio, as you can imagine EVERYONE who saw that just scream, laughed, mocked and BOO'd me. I, without a thought smiled, nodded and reacted by slapping her as well, not hard at all, but just a silly-just to touch her face-kind of slap. After that, I looked her straight in the eye with a smirk on my face disguising the fact that I was a little nervous about what I had just done, then walked away.

Her eyes just popped out wide open in shock, she was frozen, like nailed to the ground. Every one changed the direction of their mocking laughter, they looked at her like she was a silly little bitch.

After that nothing really happen, not talks, no comments. NADA.

Y'know, I think that explains a lot...  Throughout my formative years, all fights with the opposite gender ended badly for me, regardless of whether I won or lost.  As a result, I learned that you just can't win and the only thing to do is to avoid conflict.  On the other hand, you learned that you can get away with fighting back and winning, so that's what stuck with you.  I wonder if our attitudes will be different if some of my past fights ended differently, or if this incident of yours ended with tears, being called into the principal's office, parents being called in, detention, etc. 

[Robillard]

so my freshmen year of high school one of my friends had to wrestle a girl, in his first match ever. well needless to say he lost, badly. didn't live it down for all 4 years of high school. we still make fun of him occasionally for it lol, even though he did make it to states his senior year. but on the flip side i had to wrestle a girl once and i beat her pretty badly, but i made it "look" good. i let her shoot then i sprawled and pinned her, which i normally did against guys anyways. One of my other friends was paired to wrestle a girl for the quarter finals of a tournament and she forfeited the match cause she didn't want to get injured.


anyways chivalry goes much, much deeper than don't hit girls and i for one am a pretty chivalrous man. i have no problem defending myself against a girl in a fight, especially since i do muay tai, bjj, and wrestle. but if its just for play i'd probably retaliate by wrestling her and MAYBE tickling if i knew that i couldn't get tickled back. i'm a very ticklish person.