Turned the map upside down and realized it wasn't really chinese, but english upside down.  I noticed I had to go north (two hours later) when I folded the map back to its original size.  I started to run and realized that the car I vaulted over in the beginning of this story was 5 feet behind me.  It was coming towards me slowly so I decided to vault it again.  The driver had a look on his face like Oh NO  NOT AGAIN!.  I lept onto the hood, and konged the roof and the trunk.  I rolled out and heard the sound of a car engine in reverse.  Conitnuning to run ( I didn't realize how fast cars actually go in reverse) away from this killer car...

I'm actually Jesus.