well i have heard that sentance many times before and i'm begining to believe in a large part romance the acctual love of the personality of the person is in large part dying out. do you agree? or do you have your own stance on the statment that romance is dead?
I am going to try to dissect this as much as possible.
"a large part romance the acctual love"
'Love'; it is a very powerful and misconceived word. In-fact I believe that modern day society has lost the true meaning of what 'love' is just like words such as 'hero'. Now, I am not saying that I have any real authority upon this matter of 'love' I am merely just putting some theories out there.
Love can be based upon several things:
A) Biological and physiological processes of sensations and perceptions.
B) Psychological theory of the three styles of 'love'.
C) Merging the two philosophical branches of epistemology and metaphysics.
D) Socialization of 'love'.
Biologically: The feeling of 'love' is produced by the firing of dopamine neurotransmitter which is in our pleasure pathways. Also, it is caused by oxytocin; a peptides hormone that creates a feeling attachment which is released with hugs, breastfeeding, and orgasms. It acts as a huge reinforcement to mate.
Psychologically: There are three styles of 'love' -
* Intimacy: Closeness to, and liking of, the other person.
* Passion: Intense longing and physiological arousal. Ecstasy on reciprocation, despair on rejection.
* Commitment: The readiness to do anything for the sake of the 'love'.
These can be combined to make seven styles of 'love':
* Liking: Intimacy alone
* Infatuation: Passion alone
* Empty 'love': Commitment alone
* Romantic 'love': Passion + Intimacy.
* Companionate love: Intimacy + Commitment
* Fatuous 'love': Passion + Commitment
* Consummate love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment
There are types of 'love games' that are played on several stages, individuals usually prefer a particular mode:
* Eros: Passionate and physical. Looks are important.
* Ludus: 'Love' as a non-serious game. Harm is not intended but often happens.
* Storge: Slow-growing, evolving out of friendship and affection. Similarity is important.
* Pragma: Commonsense and pragmatic. Known conditions must be met.
* Mania: An emotional roller-coaster. Stereotyped romantic 'love'.
* Agape: Unselfish and giving. Spiritual and other-focused.
Two psychologists reduced 'love' into three prototypical forms:
* Romantic 'love'
* A child’s 'love' for a parent
* A parent’s 'love' for a child
Philosophically: In order to 'love' someone, both people must first accept imperfections and things about the other that ultimately with destroy their relationships. Then they must accept that these flaws will always exist to some extent.
After that, they must come to a mutual agreement that each person will suffer each others imperfections. Still, each person must then overcome each flaw.
Lastly, both persons must still find happiness though out all of this.
That is true 'love'. It is painful yet warm. It is truly a paradox that both must cope with.
This is why 'love' is such a strong emotion and ideal. It isn't easy to do or maintain.
[Sorry, I half-arsed the philosophical approach because I want to edit and expand it later. I know, I didn't explain what 'love' is or whatnot, but rather explained a process of 'love'.]
Socialization of 'Love': In America and modern day society we are live in such a contradictory state of life. We shun pre-marital sex, looking like sluts, and the like. And yet, this is what most of us base our preference on attraction upon. Not to mention look at all of the marketing and advertisements; sex appeal. Look at your peers, dressing in short, tight, and revealing clothing. Music such as rap about getting laid and having sex. It is all around us, we shun it and yet, it is so important to our lives that we make sort of a religion out of it.
It isn't just the contradiction of our state of mind, but also I believe that we as people are hasty to the meaning of 'love'. Just look at all of the young adults and their 'boyfriends/girlfriends' I constantly hear "I 'love' you" and yet, their relationship seems like a joke, perhaps a veil or just following the norms of society. A HUGE contradiction, don't you think?
Conclusion?And we wonder, 'where has all the 'love' gone?'
It is the complete ignorance and universal illiteracy that has significantly destroyed the meaning of 'love' and romance. We very quickly believe that mere lust and appreciation is really 'love'. I am not saying that all 'love' and romance is gone from the world. I just believe it is severely reduced and very watered down due to the growing popularity of being universally illiterate being passed to the next generations.
I am not done at all, there is much more to be said this is a rough outline so criticism is welcomed.