Positive Energy

This is a post from an experiment I've been doing at

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer"
- Albert Camus

There is an eternal positive energy source, I definitely haven't tapped it yet but I'm starting to grasp the concept. Negativity was a powerful force in my life, and I saw times when I could use it for this project. I used to rationalize and say that negativity redirected to positivity was a good thing, and in a situation where you don't know what to do, if you're angry or sad and you want to go train to get it out, this is a good solution, but I feel now that the best thing to do is find your invincible summer.

When I say negativity was a powerful force in my life, what I mean is when it came to me I tried my best to redirect it positively. This harbored a destructive relationship though. My training was laden with self denigration. There was no desire to be stronger, it was only a desire to not be so weak. I used it similarly elsewhere, and feel as though I could have used it a lot in this experiment, to potentially better results.

Strictly speaking I didn't succeed at my experiment this month. In the end I fell short of all of my goals, but what I did came from positivity, a desire for growth. My goal was to take a step into the unknown to see what I could see, I may have only gotten one foot out the door, but I know I'm on my way.

I know what I've learned this month will continue to help me, I look forward to next month and a new array of interesting challenges!